When I was a kid, I used to whine about almost everything; why don’t I have what other kids have; why can’t I do what I wanted to do; why can’t we chose which family to be part of; why am I so fat and has many pimples? But from that point, I had already realized that I should be responsible for my own self. At early age I knew that we are poor, and fortune will not drop from the sky as you wish for it. I remember when I was in grade 1 had all of my books new. No one thought me to be practical, but the following year instead of wishing for new books, I requested old/second hand books, I told my mom “it’s the same thing anyway.”
But sometimes, I couldn’t help but to be disappointed and disheartened, whenever I asked something from my Mom, and all I got was only broken promises. I remember when I was in highshool, almost everyone had their own cellphone. I just knew then that my Mom couldn’t give it to me, what I did was pray, pray so hard, so that next morning there would be a cellphone under my bed. Excitedly, I woke up the following morning to check if there was a cellphone under my bed. What I saw was a … Big disappointment. Hahaha, what do you expect? At that point I had come to realize that fortune woud not drop from the sky as you wish for it. Since then I had never wished for any material things anymore.
Oprah didn't think of herself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. She said “I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.”
I have learned to appreciate other more important gifts God has given me: my life, my body, my talent, my determination and resilience. Instead of praying for money to come, I prayed for more compassion, vigor, and wisdom. Knowing that no one else is responsible for my own future but myself, right after college I had nothing in my mind but to get a good job with high salary. I didn’t take my Licensure exam because I had no money and it would only take away my focus on earning money for my family.
I wanted it, I got it. Having only 1000 pesos that I borrowed from my auntie, I took my chances and lived in the city (concrete jungle ika nga). I didn’t know that to expect, and I seemed not to care, I was so focus to start fulfilling my goal. I experienced to dwell in the most uncomfortable place you could imagine, I endured pollution, traffic, cockroaches, worms, maggots, and spiders, most of all mean and bad people. I had climbed up few steps in the corporate ladder, but I didn’t want to fool myself. I know from the start that it was not the place where I could fulfill the purpose of my being. I just felt that that was not what God wanted me to do. I could serve a greater purpose. Yes, I was earning a decent amount of money but was it enough? It was clear to me that I would always find myself on the same spot if I would not do anything to change it.
Being in the corporate world, for me, was like running in a treadmill, yes, you would burn calories and develop your cardio, that’s the goal. But when you finally exhausted all your energy and stop, you would still see yourself in the same spot, no matter how fast or slow you run.
Now that I have myself out of the treadmill, I feel better; trying to run or jug, outside to wherever my feet takes me. I get to enjoy the fresh air, and different surroundings. I might sometimes find myself in very uncomfortable places but I have the control to get myself out of it, or I might stumble along the way, but I can always dust myself off and go on. I can get a chance to meet new people to jog with, it could be a dog or maybe someone special. And hopefully very soon I figure out where I want to end my journey.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain"
Some friends are wondering why I always keep on naively trying to audition although it seems that I could not breakthrough the hard wall. Oprah said: “Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.”
Now that I have started a new thing that people think that I cannot do, or most people cannot do, challenges starting to emerge. I know from the start that putting up a business is never easy. I risk almost everything, my regular paycheck, my health insurance, and even friendship is at risk. But that is where my resilience, patience, understanding, resourcefulness and faith are being tested.
I appear to be so calm and positive about almost everything. And people were sometimes wondering if im just positive or maybe indifferent. INDIFFERENT? NEVER. I’m just not afraid to fail. Oprah does not believe in failure. It is not failure if you enjoyed the process, she said. “The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.”
Honestly, I get myself paid few bucks for dedicating my time, talent and knowledge in our restaurant business. Very small compare to what I used to get in slaving myself in the air-conditioned office. But I don’t care I just know I am in the road of success. Oprah again, said: “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”
Managing our own restaurant is like the same feeling that I get whenever I do acting, hosting, modeling and singing. I gladly give my 100% without assurance of material return. I just love my crew, my customers and the work that I do. Oprah even said “What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come.”
That’s why I am not afraid.
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It is obvious that Oprah is my source of inspiration. She’s my queen. She is worthy of emulation.
When I was still a slave (pun intended), in one of our coaching sessions with my former manager, we discussed personal issues like my future. I honestly told him that I don’t see myself working in that industry for the coming years. I explained that I was in the process of getting myself out of there just like Oprah once said; try to get paid for doing something that you are passionate about. My manager said “Take away Oprah from our discussion; Let us consider her a mythical being. She’s not real. She’s just into commercialism. Look at those people who watch her show, they remain poor.”
I was so disheartened. It was like telling to a kid that Santa Claus is not real. But those words didn’t stop me to believe. I do believe in Santa Claus anyway. It may not be that red clad, big bellied Santa that we imagined to be. It could your grandpa that used to sneak out at night to put an apple and some pennies in your old socks. Whoever your Santa is, it is real. Just like Oprah being real to me. Like a fairy God mother that I can’t see. It maybe strange that in some major and minor decisions that I make, I ask myself, what would Oprah thinks about it?
Kendra Giardi (Jennifer Aspen) is Terri's sister. She and her husband Phil have triplet sons. She influences most of Terri's decisions during her 'pregnancy' by complying Terri's decisions to tell Will and helping her in most of her schemes. I love her line “You got the beauty, and I got the brain… and the beauty.” She’s very hilarious in the show.
